Why do I feel lost after graduation? A look at post-grad identity confusion.

If you are reading this as a recent grad, you might have been told a lot recently how exciting this season in your life is.

With that excitement comes many other emotions. You may be feeling fearful, confused, unmotivated, lost, conflicted, or just a bit off balance.

It can feel really strange to be feeling this way. You just spent a lot time figuring out who you are and getting a degree in something that is supposed to move your forward. Rest assured, you are not alone in this experience. 

Many new grads feel disoriented after graduation once the initial excitement wears off. Graduating means losing a lot too. Suddenly, there is much less structure in your life. No more 8:00ams, office hours, and club meetings every Monday night. Your time is yours. Some days, this feels freeing. Others it feels intimidating. For many young adults, this is the first time you have had full control over your time. With the lack of structure, existing symptoms of attention struggles, low mood, or anxiety may become more visible.

The loss of community is real as well. Higher education has been such a defining part of your identity. Now, outside of school, you have to find community in a more free form way. You face the challenge of discerning what parts of yourself you want to invest in. Where do you play sports now? How do you get involved in politics off campus? What does it look like to find a new local hang out spot? The freedom to decide is frequently overwhelming. It was easier when you could be defined by the label of “student.” 

As a new grad, you are likely also separating from your family for the first time. Perhaps you have moved home after graduation and are noticing you feel out of place in your own home. Maybe it is hard to set boundaries with loved ones as an adult with a job and outside of the house priorities. Perhaps you are living on your own for the first time, navigating bills, landlords, taxes, and roommate dynamics. Whatever the case, you are entering a period of individual growth, a time where you truly begin to live into the values you set for yourself and determining what those values are and who you are outside of your family can increase feelings of confusion. 

Developmentally, confusion in this period is normal. But, it doesn’t make it any more comfortable. In therapy, we can work together to understand your unique challenges post-grad and sit in that discomfort and uncertainty together. We can talk about what it is like for this season to feel different than you expected. And most importantly we can work together to find change. 

If these feelings resonate with you, reach out and let’s talk.